What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

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True - how I loved my mum!

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What! how could you do that?

When was you wife swapping fantasy started?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What do you mean son?

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My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

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Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Do you know what she said mum?

When a dog smells another dog’s poo or wee, do they then remember that scent for when they smell it again, or even further know which dog they are smelling if they know the dog?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”